Life Less Ordinary

Tomorrow Tomorrow Tomorrow Tomorrow!!!!

2012-01-25T11:20:00.010-06:00

This morning, as I was picking up marbles with my toes I had a wonderful realization: It's almost tomorrow! Normally tomorrow is like any other day, but not THIS tomorrow. When tomorrow becomes today, and today becomes 5:30pm, I will go to physical therapy at OSR, I will walk over to the treadmill and I will start my session by running on 100% of my body weight for the first time since October!!!! (and actually really since August) (!!!!!!!!!). This has been a long time coming and, as evidenced by my multiple exclamation points, I am beyond excited.
I was reflecting back on my broken-footed journey and I have to say that I am pleased. I was trying to decide if the road to healing was filled with more mental discovery and healing or if it was filled with more of the physical aspects. Sorry to be so neutral, but I have to say it was equal parts of both.
Physically: On Sept 1st I started the road to "recovery" with a walking boot and a conservative approach to healing with included rest, ice and physical therapy.
Mentally: I started that journey with patience
Physically, my journey lead me to surgery in October for a fractured navicular that wouldn't heal on it's own. It took me through 7 weeks on crutches, 2 months MORE in a walking boot, 2 months of intense physical therapy, more physical therapy at home, lots of scar tissue massage and ultimately to healing.
Mentally, I continued my journey with patience. I also added in a huge dose of faith and trust: In God, in my doctors and surgeon, in my physical therapist. Most importantly though, I had faith and trust in myself.
I knew that if I listened to the professionals, did EVERYTHING they told me to do, kept a postive attitude, visualized healing and worked hard, I would come back better than ever.
Happy to say that this has proven true, so far. :)
I know there is still a long road ahead of me to complete healing, but how could I be disappointed with how far I have come? On February 1st I will get to begin training for Ironman Wisconsin. Feb 1 was my original start date anyway, so it's like I didn't even miss a beat. But the pause between those beats has made my life more rich and meaningful.
I know this is getting to be a long entry, but I have one more thing that I have to touch on...
I'm so grateful. I know that sounds weird because who's grateful for an injury? But I'm grateful for the experience and also I'm grateful for the unbelievable support I had during this time. I have amazing friends and an amazing family. In addition to driving me to and from surgery, (which was out in the sticks. 40 miles from my house!) my mom also drove 60-100 miles a day that first week in order to drive me to work and back home until I could drive on my own.
My friends also helped bring me too work, and also brought me grocery shopping, helped me do laundry, brought and made me food, and even made my bed for me when it was time to wash the sheets! They also kept me company by playing games with me and just calling to say hi. (a special shout-out to Pat and Julie Gibson who went beyond the call of duty as friends and not only invited me over and stopped over to visit multiple times a week, but on those visits they would also feed me and make my plate for me because I couldnt' carry it. They were at my beck and call, and they also would lovingly wrap my foot in ice for me as we hung out. You guys ROCK!!)
Wow.
I hope I can be that awesome to a friend-in-need someday!

A different take on Resolutionists

2012-01-04T09:31:00.005-06:00

It's the new year and with that comes the usual resolutions, including the one that involves tackling health and fitness by eating right and going to the gym.
Obviously this is the biggest time of the year for health clubs, and as I, and many of my facebook and twitter friends have experienced, there are quite a few people in the clubs these days. This influx is inevitable and it usually calms down by March. I've noticed lately that this sweaty-body surge is often viewed with great disdain by my fellow tweeps and friends.
I used to feel (a little) the same way, but I have to admit that I've had my eyes opened to the subject recently and I'm a little disappointed at the elitist attitude that some people have chosen to take against these new people in the clubs. The thinking seems to be along the lines of, "since I use the gym all-year long, these NEW people need to go away and let me continue to do MY thing, because I'm ENTITLED to use the gym as I wish, due to my dedication and loyalty".
Hmm, let's see... I pay my gym membership every month. Costs the same as your membership, right? If I don't workout, LA Fitness doesn't call me up and say, "Hey, noticed you didn't come in this month. I'm going to skip this payment." So where does this sense of entitlement come about?
I know we all want our time at the gym to be easy, and crowds don't make for a fast or convenient workout. I agree. And I'm not saying that we should continually excuse people for poor gym etiquette like staying on a treadmill for an hour when there is a line, not cleaning the equipment after they're done, or (my personal fav) sitting naked on the locker room bench without a towel (?!!?!?) But it is not only the new people (or resolutionists as I've heard them called) that are offenders of poor gym-etiquette. Quite the opposite, I see people who are at the club every day doing these things most often.
I think it is worth the time to consider changing our attitudes towards these newbies in an attempt to not become an exclusive club of "gym goers".
This country is in need of some serious help and education when it comes to all things heath and wellness related. If I see someone in the club who is walking slowly on a treadmill, who the hell am I to judge them? If they are walking on a treadmill when they would usually be at home eating a burger, then I not only applaud them, I want to make sure they know they are welcome in the gym and welcome to look to me for inspiration and an example of what focusing on health and fitness can do for the body and mind. The last thing people need is any more discouragement to stay out of the clubs.
I'm not saying you have to take on a fat-buddy or anything, but would it really hurt you to smile at someone at the club, even if inwardly you want to criticize them for doing those step ups with 2 pound dumbells when you could be using that space to do them with 20 pounds, instead? No, it won't hurt you. I've actually found that it has helped me stay inspired and to use a little more grace in my interactions. Even if you want to just be in your own head at the gym, you can do that without being a dick to people.
If you think that you have it pinpointed to the "type" of person that drives you nuts at the gym, maybe think about me the next time you're scowling and flinging around criticism: I've always been known to throw up some pretty big numbers on my lifts (for a girl) :). This past summer I was deadlifting 255, I could clean and jerk 140 and I could back squat over 200. I looked like I belonged in the gym and I was accepted as such. As some of you may know, I had surgery for a broken foot in October, and due to the process of injury and healing, I have lost everything I had in the gym. Sunday I spent some time at LA Fitness doing step ups and other physical therapy things. Today I walked on a treadmill for 15 minutes. I probably look like one of those out of shape people that can't do anything "real" at the gym, and so I'm sure quite a few people scoffed at me. I have to suck up a lot of pride every time I choose to workout these days. I have to forget what I was and remember what I want to be again. How do you choose to view me?
The wonderful thing about fitness is that it meets you where you're at. My call to you today is to help meet people where THEY'RE at by showing them that fitness starts where they are, and also showing them that you don't have to be part of the "elite" to gain entry to our precious gyms and clubs.
Just think about it, for me. Please?

2011 in review and 2012 in preview

2012-01-01T15:41:00.004-06:00

short and sweet: 2011 was awesome. It brought me through some tough times, strengthened my relationships with friends and family, and helped me reset my expectations about life. I graduated from college (after only 10 years. whoo hoo!!), signed up to do my first Ironman, lost my friend and roommate to Breast Cancer, and celebrated another friend's victory over cancer... only to later find out that she will be battling it again. I broke my foot, healed my heart and managed to not gain any weight.
Life is never all good, but, fortunately, it's never all bad, either! I always say that life is a crazy mix of blessings and downfalls. This definitely rang true in 2011.
2012 will be even better. Last year I made a resolution to not make resolutions (ha!) So instead I set some goals that I wanted to work to achieve over the year. last year I said I wanted to:
1) do one unassisted pull-up (check!)
2) graduate from college (check!)
3) complete the whole 30 challenge (not check. I made it 25 days. but I called it good.)
4) sign up for Ironman Wisconsin (check)

So, I guess I have to pick some new goals for 2012 since I have a clean slate, huh? These are subject to change, or to be expanded. But here's the first draft, anyway:
Goals for 2012:
1) train for and complete that damn Ironman I signed up for last year (September 9, 2012)
2) No alcohol for the entire year (if you know me, you know this isn't going to be too tough...)
3) A special volunteer project that I will begin in September (more to follow about this later. I am so freaking excited to do this thing...)
4) Read at least one non-ironman related book per month.

Nothing too outlandish this year. Training for Ironman is going to take up a lot of time and mental power, so I don't want to set myself up for failure in other areas. I have some tentative plans about furthering my education/career movement goals, but those are sort of on a semi-hold until September.
So there you have it. I am so excited for 2012. It's going to be an amazing year, full of ups, downs triumphs and heartbreaks. It will be epic, for sure! Here's to a healthy, safe and epic 2012 for you and your families, too.

My Manifesto

2011-10-30T17:58:00.003-05:00

It was a Sunday in early June 2008 and I was about 20 miles from the finish line at America's Most Beautiful Bike Ride. I, along with a couple of other awesome TNT peeps, came across a lady who was also finishing up her 100 mile ride. We biked with her for about 10 miles before she left us in the dust and those 10 miles left me feeling more inspired and awe-struck than I had felt in a long time.
During the ride, our new friend talked to us about persistence, determination and drive. More than what she said, however, was what she showed us with her actions in those 10 miles that left us speechless and still marveling about the experience some 3 years later.
...See, that lady was biking with just one leg. No prosthetic, no adaptations or special equipment on her bike - just her and one bike shoe, one bike cleat, and one FREAKING leg. And she was kicking our asses!!
Seriously: people are awesome. There is inspiration, life lessons and perspective in every inch of space around us, and in every person that we meet. All we have to do is choose to see it.
My hope is that no one will go through this life and think that she CAN'T do something or CAN'T be something or she CAN'T reach some goal. With every turn of the head there is someone or something there showing you that you CAN.
I think it is important to acknowledge that you don't have to be happy and doing cartwheels every single day in order to embrace inspiration and lead your life with a positive "CAN do" attitude. -Sometimes life is tough. Sometimes you're tired and you hurt and you're hungry, and angry and all you want to do is stop biting your tongue and just scream. Life is not about not having those moments. It is about not letting those moments deter you from your goals and define who you are.
I didn't mean to turn this post into some Tony Robbins-esque motivational speech, but I couldn't figure out another way to say what was on my mind. Every day I realize more and more the importance of attitude, and of positive thinking and of mentally re framing your thinking so that you can make the best of what you've been handed.
I currently have a fracture in my foot for which I had to have surgery this past week. As a result, I have been relegated to crutches for the next 6-8 weeks and I will not be able to run for about 3-4 months.
This wasn't exactly how I envisioned my Ironman season starting off.
Please reference the above motivational speech in order to figure out how I may have decided to deal with this little ordeal. Let me just tell you, it would have been hella easy to slip into a woe-is-me mindset and start to fret and panic about how things are going to turn out.
It would be easy to project this injury all the way forward to next September and say that my chances of crossing the finish line at Ironman Wisconsin are fading.
But instead I am deciding to look at the inches of space all around me and see the little bits of CAN at every turn.
I'm choosing to remember that I may be hopping around on only one foot right now, but at least I get to have that foot back in a couple of months... Not like some people I have met.
I would be lying if I said that I am happily sitting back on the couch, milking my recovery for every lazy moment that it's worth.
I am not.
I am restless and antsy and impatiently waiting for my foot to magically heal. But my mind is in the right place, and I know that I have plenty of time to heal 100% and still have the season I want to have.
To quote the wise words of my coach: "Keep your head up - you're gonna be fine. You've got plenty of time and if you're smart with your rehab you're going to come back stronger and better than ever."
I agree.
I will sit on the couch and I will use my crutches, and drum my fingers as I count down the days until I can walk again... and in the mean time I will do all the things that I still CAN do and I will prepare myself mentally for the things physically that I one day WILL do.

Madison

2011-10-09T13:45:00.007-05:00

What to write? what to write?
I think most everyone knows by now that Ruth passed away on September 17th. We had the funeral on Sept 25th and it was sad yet really really wonderful at the same time.
I kind of feel like I should write about Ruth, but I don't really want to... That was pretty emotionally draining, and I'm finally starting to feel a little more normal, so I'm going to refrain from sharing my deep thoughts and life lessons on this one. Maybe later...
I will share this instead, though most of you already know: I am officially signed up for Ironman Wisconsin. The event will be held on Sept 9th, 2012 and on that day I will swim 2.4 miles, bike 112 miles and run 26.2 miles. Holy Shit.
Now, what you may not know is this: Before Ruth passed away I was thinking that I would dedicate my training and race to her since she and her family are all from Madison.
I was hoping to do this in her honor, but I will now instead be racing in her memory.
Every year I do my tiny little part to raise some money for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, and I was planning on taking a break in 2012 because of my IM training. So, instead of just skipping it, I am going to do some research on how I can instead raise money for Komen for the Cure. I have vaguely heard some chatter about The Janus Charity Challenge, but I'm not sure what else is out there or what my best avenue would be. If anyone has any info, please feel free to pass it on. I may not have time to do any fundraisers nexzt year, but I seem to be pretty good at begging people for money (as evidence, I have raised over $15,000 for LLS), so I know I can do my part, even with the rigors of Ironman Training.
I freely admit that I want to take on the challenge of Ironman because of the focus, discipline and personal sacrifice required to make it happen. I'm hungry for a big accomplishment because it has been awhile since I've really dug my heels in (or maybe a better phrase would be "dug my own grave?") and went for, and accomplished, something big. However, I feel like the way that I arrived at the decision to attempt Madison, instead of the many other cities I could have attempted, is crazy and a little karmic, and so for that reason I have no problem sharing my year with Ruth's memory and I have no problem sharing a little of myself to raise some money for an important cause. More to follow later on this topic.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: This is going to be a GREAT year and I am so excited to take on this challenge. I am already forming "Team Williams" which will help get me across the finish line, and that team is growing by the day. So far it includes my chiropractor, my physical therapist, my massage therapist my doctor, CrossfitMN, and my coach.
In addition to the professionals, I also have a professionally-awesome and AMAZING group of friends who have already made themselves my official cheer squad for race day. They are already making plans for what they will be doing on the course next September... (I've heard everything from my picture on a stick, to shirts that say "Team Mofo". To any of these things I say, "I will only see them for a minute or two. You guys are the ones who have to walk around all day looking crazy, so feel free to do whatever you wish) :)
I also have a wonderfully supportive community of triathlete-friends, (and no less than 25 of them have already done IMWI) who are standing beside me as I take on this challenge. They're ready to cheer me through my highs, hug me through my lows and watch me cross the finish line next year.
Lastly, I will have some wonderful training partners whom I can swear at: Dana Rutt, Sarah Frandrup, Ben McNamara and Mike & Maggie Baranowski.
Even if everything that can go wrong next year does, it's can't change my attitude: Life is good, people, life is very good... :)
speaking of "Life is Good" I would just like to say that it is 80 degrees here in MN at the moment and I am writing this blog while sitting on my back deck. Good, indeed!

The Perpetual Roommate

2011-08-17T14:59:00.010-05:00

For some people, the term "roommate" might suggest a void of friendship or a lack of longevity in relationship. I know I often associate that word with two strangers living in a house, totally and completely separate from each others lives, save for an occasional spat over the dirty dishes.

Because of that, I can understand why some people wonder why I am so concerned with the fact that my "roommate" has terminal breast cancer.

I have been Ruth's roommate 3 different times over the last 10 years, totaling about 6 years of actually living at her house. She's such an easy place to land. She's single, no kids, no drama. She lets me have my space, is always up for a conversation but understands if I just want to be left alone.

Multiple times I've found myself moving back to her house between weird roommates, break-ups, and life-indecision. Heck, I even bought a house and then decided to rent it out and move back.
I guess all-told I've known her (and her sister, and basically their entire family) for about 17 years.

Though Ruth is my roommate, She is also my friend. Between her and her sister, Sue, they have always been there for me, and they've proven to be easy company and a sympathetic ear when needed. Plus we have had quite a bit of fun together!
I love Ruth, Sue and the rest of the Lomasneys, and my heart hurts for them and the loss they are suffering. Ruth is losing her fight with cancer, and her family is losing an amazing person. How could I NOT be affected and concerned by something like that?
It has been over a month now since the shit hit the fan and Ruth went into the hospital due to the progression of her cancer.
At first there was an influx of so many people coming and going at our house that I didn't quite know what to do with myself. It was pretty stressful to have random family and friends popping in at all hours and at one point we had 4 people staying at the house (which is only about 700 sq ft). I basically just tried to stay gone as much as possible, partly to stay out of the way, and partly so they would stay out of mine.
Now for the past couple of weeks it has been so quiet at the house that I again don't know what to do with myself. There is no Ruth, no family, no dogs. Just me. It's so empty there that I, again, just try to stay gone as much as possible.
I had a realization the other day that life at 4105 Yosemite is never again going to be like it used to be, and it both scared me and saddened me a little. Ruth and I no longer have our daily joke about getting the mail. She no longer sits in the living room listening to me sing made-up songs about the dogs while I make dinner. She doesn't care about those things any more. She's focused on a much more important battle and I'm left with little holes in my routines where these memories now take shape.
If life is stressful and sad for me in this situation, I can only imagine how difficult all of this has been on her family. I at least get an opportunity to separate myself from it and lead a normal life.
I had lunch with Sue today at Panera and we finally had a chance to catch up and chat a little. I haven't really seen her much in the past couple of weeks.
All in all it was a great lunch. We started blubbering like fools right in the middle of Panera, but we didn't even care. It actually felt good to just cry a little and share some of those emotions and to listen to Sue share some of her worries and frustrations and thoughts.
I know I've mentioned this before, but Sue is doing an amazing job in caring for Ruth and acting as her advocate. Their relationship, and the love and effort that Sue has given Ruth is really something to be admired and has definitely been a great lesson to me in what loving your family is really all about.
This is going to be a tough road ahead and no one knows where it will take us or when it will get us "there".
My continued thoughts and prayers are on Ruth for healing and comfort, and they are on her family to find strength and comfort and peace with this tough journey.

A shout Out to My Crossfit Chicks!

2011-07-25T10:23:00.007-05:00

From my previous blogs you can probably tell that I love Crossfit. It's good for my body, it's good for my soul, and it's good for my social life!
There are many reasons that I love it, but one of the big reasons is that the women there are so freaking awesome! We have so many strong, amazing ladies in our gym.
I have never met a group of more supportive, encouraging, inspiring (and giggly, and dance-y, and get-down-to-the-nitty-gritty) ladies... and they all kick my butt during the WODs.
Here's a great example of why CF women are the complete package: I went to the 6:15 class this morning, and during a warm-up run Barb, Mindy and I were talking about Warrior Dash, biking and where to find the cutest knee-high socks for working out (it's Dick's Sporting goods, in case you're wondering. They sell them in a 3 pack and they come in funky colors!!)
Then we got back inside and Barb got all serious with me and she said, "Marie and I have plans for you. We are going to get you to work on your pull ups." (word on the street is that I've been slacking on those lately!)
Then the topic turned to nutrition and I got some nutrition advice from Mindy for trying to fuel my body in the mornings. (my tummy doesn't like food quite so early... ) All these different topics in the course of about 10 minutes!
In addition to holding me accountable and making sure I am working my hardest, they are always so damn encouraging! I can't tell you how helpful it is to be in the middle of a WOD, huffing and puffing, and all of a sudden hear "great job Misty" from out of the blue. But that's what all these gals do. They are working just as hard as me and everyone else, but they still take the time to lift people up and give them a shout-out. I think that is girl power at its finest!
These girls (and all the other awesome chicks at our gym) kick butt and hold me accountable to be my best. Thanks for that, Ladies! This blog's for you! :)

Awesomely Ditzy Disorder (A.D.D.)

2011-07-22T11:24:00.008-05:00

Last night I volunteered to help a friend run a quick Craigslist errand. As we were driving back we began discussing ADD. She was saying that she must have ADD because she will be in her room digging in her purse one minute, and then in the next minute she is standing in her kitchen wondering where her purse is! I said that she has definitely exhibited her ability to focus when given a task, so she is probably not ADD... I explained that ditzy is not the same thing as attention-deficit, but the acronym still applies, hence my blog post title :)
Speaking of ADD, that is exactly what this blog post is going to be. Bear with me, I have lots of random thoughts to get out.
First, a foot update: I hemmed and hawed about it, but I've decided that I am going to have surgery on my foot to fix my plantar fascitius. I am sick of wasting my time and money to try and manage it, and it doesn't seem to be getting any better. I still can't run without pain, and it seems to be my final "injury" hurdle to overcome before I feel confident that I can give IM training a good go. So, I go under the knife on August 19th. It's a quick surgery with fairly minor recovery times. I will be on crutches for two weeks, in a walking boot for two weeks and then back to good in a total of 4-6 weeks. Seems reasonable to me.
Next, a swim update: I have started swimming. I still suck, but now I'm sucking twice a week at the Hopkins West Junior High pool Masters Swim, and occasionally I'm sucking on Friday mornings out in Lake Minnetonka with some friends (who do not suck!)
Next, random thought # 1: It's been pretty hot here in MN the past couple of weeks. Unusually hot, and because of that everyone seems to be complaining about the weather. Truthfully, it doesn't seem to take much for people to complain about it. I've never understood the constant whine about temperature and conditions. Weather is a fact of life: You can't control it, you can't change it and all you can do is adapt to it (or not). What people so often seem to forget is that Weather is always temporary. If you are bitching about it being 120 degrees one day, the next day you will probably find yourself bitching because it will only be 70 degrees. Not since the story of Noah and the Ark has the weather been so constant that everyone could know what to expect for 40 days and 40 nights.
Yesterday our hot streak broke and it was only going to be about 90 degrees instead of 110 like the day before. As I was getting out of my car I had a thought about how weather is often a great analogy used to describe our suffering.
As a Christian, there is a lot of talk and stories about going through "seasons" in life. Right now I am in a season of singleness. One of my friends is in a season of depression. Another is in a season of being a newlywed. etc etc. That's a great analogy, albeit a more long-term, general sort of one. Plus when people are talking about seasons, it isn't always meant to describe pain, anguish or suffering. For instance, my season of singleness has been wonderful and very educational for my heart and soul!
But short-term, people often talk about weather to describe their condition: Weathering the storm, riding out the rain, facing into the wind. I love these sorts of analogies! Why? They describe suffering. We have a tendency to complain about things as if they are going to be permanent. "ugh, this hot weather is KILLING me. it's never going to end!" "Gosh, is it EVER going to stop raining? I'm miserable!". ... We live in the moment and we often try to assign permanent attributes to very temporary situations. We do the same thing with weather as we do with our own personal suffering. It isn't until we finally break through the clouds, and regain our happiness that we can look back and remember that the suffering was temporary. Everything in life is temporary (except for tattoos. those things are permanent!) and when I find myself wallowing in misery, I will try to remind myself of that.
Random thought # 2: I was walking in to Chipotle last week and there was a guy walking out who was using a cane and walking very slowly. He looked like he was rehabilitating from something (car accident? Stroke? ...?) He looked like he was in pain, but he also had a look of patience and determination to just keep putting one foot in front of another. I am not sure why I was so moved by the sight of him, but I watched him all the way to his car while I was standing in line and I almost started crying. It was not out of pity, but more of gratitude for my God-given physical and mental attributes. I take my strong legs and straight back for granted almost daily, but I don't know what I would do if they were taken away from me. It is a gift for which I should live in fearful gratitude every day. I hope when I am rolling out of bed at 5:30am and I wish I could hit the snooze one more time that I will remember what I saw, how I felt, and how there are so many people who can't do what I (don't want to) do every day, without much effort. Life is a gift, for sure. Sometimes it's a white elephant, but it's a gift nonetheless :)
Random thought #3: I'm on a quest to find a coach for my IM training. I could probably do it on my own with just a training plan, but I think there would be a higher risk of failure, and certainly more under confidence, if I am left to my own devices. I know a couple of friends who coach, and I would love to give them my support, but I also know that at my weakest moments I will not be able to stop myself from being lazy with them. It's a boundary thing. So I'm on a quest for a fresh new face to torment! I have considered using Jason Diggman, as I know several people who have used him, so he's in the potentials-pool, and I also found a company called 2B which seems to have a great philosophy and a more hands-on approach to coaching. 2B seems 2b a little more about community, which I ready dig. :)
I have a meeting with Diane Birkeland and Scott Welle tonight. I'll let you know what I think!

to BE or to be

2011-05-01T13:34:00.002-05:00

To be or not to be?... Be what? That is the question. (Take that, Shakespeare.)

The idea of "being" is such a philosophical black hole, and it is one that I have been sucked into lately.

What do I want to BE when I grow up?

What kind of person am I trying to BE in my personal relationships?

Where do I want to BE on this planet?

Do I want to BE or not BE, but rather just - be...

When I was younger, I always thought that by the time I was in my 30's I would have it all figured out. I thought all adults did. The time to be indecisive, or to change your mind, or feel restless, all of that stuff was only in your early 20s.

In spite of my human be-ing, I am still loving life. There is no denying that I wake up every morning happy, motivated and ready to face the day. But I am all about having goals, and I need to keep filling the tank. I cannot seem to just "be", I need to BE!!!

Approaching life fearlessly

2011-03-21T10:39:00.014-05:00

I had the pleasure this weekend of taking a running clinic from Darcy Franklin. Darcy is a kick butt triathlete and all around cool person, and she had lots of great information and some helpful drills for me to use to transform my running... of course if you've ever seen me run, you know that it needs a lot of work... probably about as much work as my swimming, but I'll save that for a different post :)
Anyhoo, I'll save you all of the nitty gritty about the clinic, but I'll just say that by the end of the clinic my running form was much improved (even if Betsy did say that my new nickname should be Pony) :) and I am optimistic that it will continue to improve because we were given "homework" to do for the next month to help us incorporate our new-found knowledge into our running. If you are looking to improve your running and reduce injury, I highly recommend taking this clinic the next time it's offered. Let me know if you're interested and I can give you Darcy's contact info.
On to the title of this post: "Approaching Life Fearlessly". I recently starting reading a book by Max Lucado (recommended to me by Jorna. Thanks JP!) titled Fearless. It is basically about not living your life in "fear", turning your worry and fear over to God and letting yourself trust completely in His plan.
I guess I had always envisioned myself as a fearless person. I like to think I trust in God completely and put myself firmly inside His will, giving myself a "whatever happens, happens" mentality. But when I put myself under the microscope I realize that I really am not very fearless at all...
Now, I'm not saying that I'm a coward or anything, but I am saying that there are definite areas in my life that could use some big improvement. Isn't this the case with everyone?
I think we sometimes get confused and think that being comfortable means that we have dealt with our insecurities. We also tend to think that being comfortable is much better than taking risks, because risks make us feel insecure. But really, you have to be secure in order to take risks and those aren't comfortable at all!
Using the above (il)logic, I am realizing that I sometimes set limits or "caps" on myself and I don't even know I am doing it! I'm just trying to be comfortable!
At work I constantly find myself putting off or avoiding situations that challenge me or make me do uncomfortable things. Why? Because I am sitting very comfortably in my "security" and as a result I have become afraid of failure!
In the gym, I do modifications of exercises that I have not yet mastered (example: pull-ups), and then I excuse myself for the exercises that I won't even attempt yet, such as a rope climb. I have told myself that I have never been able to climb a rope, so I will set that challenge aside for later, after I have mastered other things... like pull-ups!
That sounds reasonable and logical, right? And it probably is, but I realized on Saturday that I had been avoiding the rope not because I'm not ready for it, but because I have never been able to do the rope climb (think back to grade school gym class), and so I am afraid of trying (in front of everyone. oooooh!!) and failing.
When did this start happening?
If I'm honest with myself, I think I have to admit that it has been happening my entire life, but it has just been getting worse as I get older. I like to think of it as a cumulative effect of years of little insecurities that have now built into bigger ones. Pretty soon if I don't change something, I'm going to keep heading down the wrong path, and I will NEVER get what I want out of life. I will get the life I envision, but it won't be as great of a life as it could have been if I had only envisioned better, riskier things!
How do I fix it? In addition to putting my trust fulling in God, I need to start living a little more "securely" by taking some more risks. I need to put myself into positions where I might fail... and then I have to be ok with failure. More importantly I need to actually be ok with the SUCCESS that may result from taking some risks.
I know this much: it starts here and now. With every decision I make... and I will have my first "risky" moment tomorrow evening, as this morning I spoke with someone at the SLP Lion's Club and agreed to be a speaker at their meeting tomorrow night. The pressure! The fear! the... PUBLIC SPEAKING!! *gulp* :-/ Wish me luck!!

A Chiropractor, a Cold, and a Dying Grandma

2011-01-14T22:41:00.007-06:00

It is Friday evening and I find myself, yet again, sitting in bed blogging. This is becoming an all too familiar trend for me, but I guess I can't complain. Better to be safe in my bed then out drinking, whoring or spending lots of money, right? If you know me at all, you know that none of those things are real concerns for my social life, but work with me, here. I just needed some comparisons...
What a week. I got a call on Monday from my mom: Grandma is not doing very well and was rushed to the hospital. Apparently only the bottom half of her hear was working. Things have only gotten worse from there and it is, unfortunately, her time to pass soon. They moved her to hospice yesterday and now we are just waiting and praying for her to pass quickly so she does not suffer.
I haven't quite sorted out all my emotions about this stuff yet, but I will tentatively say that I am doing ok for now. I've only had one breakdown so far, and it was a long time coming but passed over quickly. I guess I would just describe it as "reality sinking in".
If you have ever heard me talk about my family, especially my mom's side, you would probably draw the conclusion that I am not very close to them. I'm not sure if this is a true statement, but I certainly have not spent much time with them over the past few years. I won't get into the reasons why, but I will just say that we are all very different people, and it has taken me a long time to be able to accept them as they are without needing anything in return. Whatever the case, they're still my family and I love them. They may not always meet my expectations, but they give what they have to give, and they are the only ones who have known me since my beginning. They are my history book, my atlas and my compass.
I grew up with my grandma around quite a bit. She lived with us for years, and then when she moved to the small town of Holdingford MN, I used to go and spend large parts of the summer with her. I have so many memories of her and it was not until this week that I realized how much I have taken those memories for granted. Lola is 89 years old and I guess I kept convincing myself that she would be around forever...
I took the day off of work on Tuesday and spent some time with her in the hospital. She is pretty hard of hearing, so we didn't talk much, but it gave me an odd sense of peace and comfort just to sit there with her. Since she can't hear well, I found myself enjoying the silence and waiting for her to speak. I realized that it was one of the few times in my life that I truly had the patience to just -listen. No rushing, no controlling the conversation or inserting my thoughts or opinions before the other person could finish their own. There was only patience and peace between us. I brought her some puzzle books and watched her drift in and out of sleep/unconsciousness for several hours. My mom and aunt joined me in the afternoon. I felt a little guilty about not going in to work, but in hindsight it was the best decision I ever made.
This may not seem related, but I'm sick. I tried to pretend for most of the week that I wasn't, but I'm not a very good actor and so I have finally succumbed to the virus... hence the laying in bed at 10pm thing. I felt run-down when I was at the hospital, but I attributed that to being out of my routine. I didn't eat a snack, I didn't drink any water all day, and I ate cafeteria food for lunch (for those of you following my Whole 30 challenge, I was still able to eat Paleo, don't worry). I came home and crashed for 2 hours and then went back to bed at 9pm.
Fast forward to Friday and I left work at 4pm today. I came home and fell asleep for 3 HOURS! this sucks. I am hoping that this is the worst of it and recovery will be on its way tomorrow.
My last thing to chat about: I had a consultation at a new Chiropractor today. I'm pretty excited about it. I have had very good experiences with Chiro over the years. My first chiropractor was a guy with whom I do karate, and I have gone to him since I was 16 years old. I was forced to change though because he is too far away (about 30 miles) and so I am not able to get to him regularly. So, enter Dr Tim Fargo, and I'm ready to tackle some of my injury-stuff with a "new man". He did a great job of earning my trust, so I guess I'll give him a shot. :) I'll let you know how it goes.
and with that I will end this random, disjointed post. If you are one who prays (and I hope that you are), please keep my grandma in your prayers. Ask the Lord to lift her up to Him, and to bring her peace and comfort in her final days.

Hot and Hungry!

2011-01-03T12:35:00.017-06:00

I am officially on my fourth day of the Whole 30 Challenge, and so far, so good! My only observation thus far is that I am hungry all of the time, and I have been unsually hot the past couple of days. I actually had to step outside to cool off this morning because the house felt insanely hot!
Other than that, I am not sure I have much to report regarding the challenge, and so instead I will point you to a couple of great resources if you are considering taking on this challenge.

This link is to Darcy's blog. Darcy works out at the same Crossfit location as me and completed the Whole 30. It's a great reference as she lists what she ate every day. I took lots of notes:

http://darcyfranklin.blogspot.com/

Here is the Whole 9 website that is the foundation for the 30 day challenge:

http://www.whole9life.com/

Here are a couple of sites with lots of meal ideas that conform to the Paleo way of eating:

http://www.wholelifeeating.com/

http://www.sweetcheekshq.com/2010/03/stuffed-sweet-dumpling-squash.html

I think I may have some more links that I can dig up. I'll search and post them later.

I have decided not to intentionally blog daily about my food or how I feel during the Whole 30. This has all been done multiple times and so I will just try to continue to point you towards good resources as I find them.

Instead, I thought it might be good to tie in some cost-of-food related discussions. This topic is not only relevant to my journey, but it's such an important concept because cost is many times a deterrent to eating well. Hopefully my examples, ideas, successes and failings can help to generate thought and inspiration for my friends out there who are interested in this.

I have heard it said many times that it is too expensive to eat healthy. I both agree and disagree with this statement.

I agree with this statement because often times sustainably, quality grown produce and properly raised meat is more expensive than more "commercialized" food when compared pound for pound and dollar for dollar.
I disagree because:

1) it is possible to find things at the same price, or sometimes even cheaper that the commercialized products, you just need to learn how to use your resources.

2) It often seems more expensive at first because when you are transitioning to fresh produce and meats, there is a tendency to overbuy, overuse and waste food. But after time you learn to buy smaller quantities and use things more efficiently, which cuts costs.

3) there is a lot more involved in the cost-of-food equation than the price of food. This is our health, people! Why is it so easy for us to devalue our bodies for convenience? I'm not being preachy. I do it too. I just want to stop it.

When trying to "clean up" your food you have to choose your angle and create a plan of attack. If you are uneducated about food, nutrition, environmental factors, and resources, then wiping out your entire cupboard would not only be costly, it would also be overwhelming and unproductive. How can you replace ALL of your "bad" food with "good" food when you aren't even certain what "good" food is?

So, if you feel overwhelmed or too cheap to make a change, I suggest starting small. I did this a couple of years ago, and in that time I have grown my circle of knowledge and continued to eliminate or be aware of what is going in my cupboards and into my body.

I first suggest doing some things to educate yourself on what things constitute good food, and what constitutes bad food. The labels of good and bad can be applied to many different things. We have all heard the buzz about High Fructose Corn Syrup, Corn Fed Beef, Refined Sugars, Hydrogenated Fats, Preservatives, Artificial Sweeteners, etc right? Choose some of these buzz words and go to work! Learn how they make Hydrogenated (and partially hydrogenated!!) fat and then decide if this is something you want to put in your body. Then go look at your cupboards and take out everything that has it (Crisco, Oreos, salted nut rolls, FAKE butter, Cool Whip... the list is ridiculously endless!)
That doesn't seem nearly as overwhelming and expensive as cleaning out your cupboards in one fell swoop, does it? :)
Let me know what you plan to tackle to make yourself healthier, or what you are doing to make eating well more affordable.

Ironman ponderings and The Biggest Loser

2010-12-31T15:39:00.013-06:00

As some of you may know, it is my intention to train for, and attempt, an Ironman Triathlon at some point in the near future. Originally I had picked a goal to do Ironman Tempe in November of 2011. I was not quite ready to make the commitment when the registration opened, as I still have a nagging little tendon issue in my foot and I also have some more weight to lose before I feel like I would have a comfortable training season (I realize this is an oxymoron). If you do not sign up on the day that registration opens you pretty much miss your chance for the event, so I was forced to realign my goal a little. The plan now is to do Ironman Wisconsin in September 2012.
earlier today I was thinking about Ironman and I was forced to ask myself the question: "why do I even want to DO this thing, anyway?" I'm not a triathlete. Well, I'm not a triathlete in the way that most of my friends seem to be, anyway. They sign up for multiple races every year in all different distances and they start planning their events out a good 6 months from their season.
As for me: I have only done one triathlon and it was a bad experience. I had a terrible cold the day of the event, I had a pinched nerve in my neck and I was sunburned. Just to round out the visual, let's just throw in the fact that I HATE swimming and that should help you paint a picture of how well THAT event went...
When I compare myself to my tri-friends there is no doubt that I am quite different... but maybe that's not a bad thing. I have always done things my own way and I have accepted the fact that i will probably never do too much "shop talk" with my friends that are hard-core triathletes. Of course there is some of that stuff, but an essential component that is missing is my passion for competing, so I don't think our training conversations are always as productive as they could be. Which, again, is not a bad thing. I also realize that this is something that might change for me as I start immersing myself in some triathlon training...
Mind you, I am no stranger to endurance events. I have completed 7 100 mile bike events, a marathon, a half marathon, 2 duathlons etc etc. My primary roadblock when it comes to tri-ing a tri is that I hate swimming.
So back to my question: I was thinking about both the intrinsic and extrinsic reasons that I would like to complete an IM. First the extrinsic: It's pretty prestigious, and who doesn't enjoy a little prestige? Completing an IM is something that less than 1% of the population has done (I believe the percent of people who eat their own fecal matter falls into this percentage range, too. -A little less prestigious, but still elite, nonetheless.)
There are tremendous bragging rights that come along with completing an Ironman, as there very well should be. It takes extreme dedication, determination and drive to complete the event. Not to mention, you basically give up your life for 9 months in order to train. Plus finishing the event gives you access to some pretty awesome finishers gear. :)
Swag and bragging rights have never been extremely powerful motivators for me though, so now would be a great time to discuss a couple of the intrinsic reasons why I want to attempt this goal...
We all have heard the saying: Know thyself. Well, I know myself and I know that I function best when I have set a goal. I'm more disciplined, more dedicated, more focused. Essentially I'm more of the person I want to be when I have a goal. and not just a goal, a BIG goal. I have set this goal, and even though I have not signed up for the event yet, I am already focusing on success by trying to lose weight, fix my foot and prepare financially for the onslaught that training will bring.
If I am completely honest with myself, I have to admit that one of the biggest reasons that I want to attempt this is because I do not know if I can do it, and a little part of me thinks that I will not be able to do it. I suppose that would prompt some people to ask why would I even try, then?
Because if I don't try, then I'll never know. And a small part of me things that I might not be able to do this, but a very large part of me knows that I can. I think I will take my chances. :)

Ok, enough of that. It is Friday night and I just got home from a super yummy dinner at Beni Hana. It was a well-earned dinner, treated by a friend for losing a bet. The bet was a challenge to see who could lose the most weight in a two month period. Obviously I won, but I think this past month I have officially gained back most of that weight. Not an uncommon theme with me - that constant struggle to maintain a lifestyle that promotes the good and leaves no place for the bad. Unfortunately I tend to waiver back and forth.
On Tuesday we are starting a Biggest Loser competition in the office, so there has been much chatter about weight, exercising and losing lbs as of late. It all has reminded me that I am not alone in this constant quest for health.
One thing that I observed on Friday was that lots of peeps at the office have a very poor body image. I wish I would have thought to count the number of people I heard making remarks like, "good, time to get my fat ass in shape", and "it's time to stop stuffing my fat face full of cookies". Are we really all that hard on ourselves? It was sort of a bummer to hear it coming from so many people, and it also reminded me that i do the same thing!! I wish I did not do that. It's not even really an accurate reflection of what I think of myself. It's just self-deprecating humor... but no one else would ever know that! So I am making a pact with myself: The buck stops here. No more negative words about body image. Not even in jest. I hope to encourage the people on my BL team to do the same.
Your turn to weigh in. Thoughts on Ironman, either for yourself or what I was chatting about. Also, what are you doing to try and get fit, stay healthy or make changes in your life? :)

A Tisket a Tasket, Crossfit is Fantastic!

2010-12-29T09:05:00.010-06:00

The end of November marked the end of the old, non-crossfit Misty and celebrated the new, soon to be fitter, Crossfit me! It has been a month since I began working out at Crossfit Minnesota and in that short amount of time I not only feel better, but I am definitely stronger, I'm LOVING my workouts again, my body hurts less in the bad ways, and now hurts more in the good ways...

Plus, last Friday I got my first blister from doing pull-ups. I have arrived! Technically I have TWO blisters, so that makes me double-y bad ass IMHO.

The Crossfit methodology not only promotes total body fitness and doing exercises that incorporate a full range of motion, but they also have a lot to say about proper nutrition. We have all heard the old adage: "food is fuel". Well, that is exactly right and exactly what Crossfit believes as well. The mileage you get out of your body day-to-day or during any given workout is directly related to the kind of fuel you put in your gas tank... Needless to say, I do NOT do a very good job of putting quality gas in my tank....

So I have decided to embark on a challenge. The Whole 30 challenge, to be exact. Starting January 1st, my goal for the next 30 days will be to adhere to a strick paleo-based diet consisting only of lean meats, vegetables, nuts and fruit. No chewing gum (even sugar free gum), no sugar in my coffee, no beans, no peanuts, no Caribou Campfire Mochas... This is going to be tough, but I'm actually really excited for it.

If I'm honest, I am definitely looking to lose some weight during this challenge and beyond it, but in addition to that I'm excited to see what other good things might happen if I fuel my body with 100% healthy foods 100% of the time.

The 30 day challenge is meant to eliminate ALL inflammatory foods (no refined sugars, no artificial sweetners, no dairy, no grains etc). I have some struggles with my lungs (possible sports induced asthma, overall just kind of wimpy and phlegmy.) and I also have a couple of nagging injuries. I'm curious to see if by eliminating inflammatory foods then I might also eliminate some of the inflammation in my posterior tibial tendon and in my hip and help my body heal.

I know the question that you are itching to ask: Misty, what about eating all things, but doing it in moderation? My answer: Great suggestion, but I don't seem to be able to do that. The balance between eating healthy and allowing a little junk food in moderation seems to be a balance that I cannot maintain. I will do well at it for awhile, but eventually the french silk pie wins. Then it wins again and again and again.

I do not label myself as an emotional eater, but there is something about the convenience of junk food (not to mention the taste) that always makes it an easier choice. If I don't allow myself that choice, then I will be forced to make food choices that are healthy.

I admire you if you are able to do the whole "moderation" thing, but I can't. Please don't judge me. Don't tell me I'm setting myself up for failure. Failure, (and insanity) to me, is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. I have tried moderation and it doesn't work and it does not heal my body.

...besides, what is so wrong with challenging yourself to do something difficult? It's only 30 days, right?

The Whole 30 challenge is not for everyone, and the Paleo diet is not for everyone. Heck, it might not even be for me. I know once I complete the challenge I will definitely reintroduce some foods... but I'll talk about all of that stuff later.

Let me know what you think.

Think Inside the Tin (alternate title: You know you're a Minnesotan, if...)

2010-12-28T13:41:00.026-06:00

You know you're a Minnesotan if you're chomping at the bit to go to lunch and enjoy the nice weather today... and "nice weather" means that it's 34 and sunny.
We Minnesotans can't help it. We set our standards low in the winter, and frankly, 34 can feel downright balmy when it has been 15 degrees out for the past couple of weeks. :).
Ok, that wasn't really what I was going to blog about today. It was just an observation that made me giggle, so I had to share.
On to the real topic: Lately I have been waking up between 1 and 3 am almost every morning, -Night. let's face it. 3am is still night and no one should EVER be awake at this time - and almost immediately my mind starts racing. I struggle to shut it off and get back to sleep, and I cannot figure out why this is happening. I am neither overly stressed nor am I depressed, and I am not experiencing any anxiety about anything that I can identify.
I. Feel. Fine. So, WTF?
Anyhoo, my midnight wake-ups don't stress me out too much, but I just wonder why it is happening.
The point of this is that during the witching hours, my hyper-drive mind starts not only replaying parts of my day over and over in my head, but I also seem to think of random musing, blog topics, food-for-thought, and what would otherwise be known as "philosophical thoughts". I'm not saying that suddenly, at 3am, I become deeply profound, but I have been known to think up a long overdue witty comeback to a friend's comment (your brain's a thin candy shell...), or come up with a random, yet completely true, analogy that is useful to no one (grilled cheese: the white man's quesadilla...)
Last night I had an idea for a blog topic, and I could not get it out of my head. I think I was afraid to go back to sleep lest I forget about this deeply intriguing topic. I decided that it would help me relax my mind if I wrote down a note about it. So that's what I did, and lo and behold, I was able to get back to sleep!
Here's what I wrote:
"Brains and muffins. too many choices make us unproductive and shapeless. Having muffin tin helps mold us into something useful and appealing to others".
Hmm, in the light of day this idea does not sound nearly as profound as it did last night. But here is what I think I was trying to say:
When you make muffins, you pour them into a muffin tin and that is what gives them their shape.
Everyone looks at that very common shape and identifies it as a muffin. If you take the muffin mixture and pour it onto a cookie sheet, you get a shapeless blob. No one finds it as appetizing as the muffin-shaped morsel. No one would ever be stuck on a desert island, starving, and fantasizing about muffin blobs. The shape of the muffin is what give the muffin its purpose, its mission... it's IDENTITY.
So it is with the human mind. Minds are like muffins.
In this new-age culture of ours, we are all encouraged to "do it all", "want it all", "have it all". The sky is the limit! The possibilites are endless! You no longer have to choose between being a housewife or being a librarian. Now you can be a Housewife Librarian Doctor with a PhD in Dog Training Management and a minor is Eastern Medicine. AND YOU CAN EARN THAT DEGREE ONLINE!
GO FOR IT. don't sell yourself short. Don't settle for the simple things for which our mothers or fathers or grandparents had to settle.
Essentially we have been encouraged to make ourselves into muffin blobs. Take your brain and your talents and pour them out on a cookie sheet and bake at 350 degrees for 18-25 years. Don't mold yourself into a shape. Shapes are so permanent. Blobs are so free-form. So new-age. So chic! Everyone's doing it.
But as an adult, I personally have been feeling more and more lost with each day that passes by. Great, the world is my oyster, but how do I get to the ocean? I sometimes wish I had LESS options to choose from. I sometimes long for the feelings of confinement and restriction that come from limited options.
Perhaps we are not meant to have everything in this life. Maybe we are meant to think a little smaller than we have been thinking and maybe we ARE supposed to settle for less. When I look at people, and at couples, who seem genuinely happy, they are content with the little things in life. They are not constantly trying to grab the world by the ass and they are not trying to strive for all things greater and bigger and better than what they have now. They are not trying to shake every last leaf off the tree. Instead they are content to just rake the ones that have fallen off of the tree. They focus inwardly on their values more than they focus outwardly on the other "stuff".
Ok, enough of my cynicism and over-blown analogies. I have no resolutions to this observation except for to suggest that sometimes we should all just consider thinking "smaller". Get back to basics. Learn what your values are and then define your life by these things instead of defining them by your stuff, your status or your wealth.
Think of new ways to shake up your life that don't include moving to a different city, accumulating new debt or acquiring a new spouse. Think of ideas that can make an impact on your smallness!
Think a little today about how you can be smaller and how you can better shape yourself into a mold. The possibilities are endless, people. Think like a muffin. THINK INSIDE THE TIN!!!

Goodbye, dear friend

2010-12-27T12:32:00.004-06:00

Yesterday I had to say goodbye to a dear friend -my running shorts. Over the last 6 years, I have held my shorts close through struggles. We labored side by side on may a long run and workout. When exercising with friends or taking a class, my shorts participated and inserted themselves into many a conversation.
Even when I was by myself, my shorts where always right there with me, reminding me that they are made of polyesther, that they retain odor, and that I have chubby thighs.
My shorts knew me more intimately and were closer to my intimate parts than any other friend has ever been... Yesterday, I gave them an uncerimonious burial by sticking them in the trash can, but first I held a viewing. I set them on my bed for awhile and just looked at them. I had to make sure I was ok with the decision to throw them out. I waivered for only a brief second, but then I took another look at the holes that had formed in them, and I knew it was time to let go.
Why is it so hard to find good shorts? And why is it so hard to find another pair of the same shorts once you've found a good pair? Surely it can not have anything to do with shorts going out of "fashion". Since when are running shorts fashionable?
Over the past couple of years I have searched high and low for a replacement pair but I have yet to find the exact style. I feel very fortunate that I still have another pair in a different color, but that one is showing signs of wear, too. It will only be a matter of time until I look down and see that, yet again, it is time to let go and send another pair of shorts to shorts-heaven.

Running Shoes for the Mind

2009-06-01T11:08:00.011-05:00

I'm seriously considering running away.
Much like a person in a long-term relationship that feels discontent, I find myself longing for something better. I guess I can't say exactly where I would want to end up. Probably Colorado, but I don't even know.
I think what I really aim to accomplish by leaving is to get away from myself, which is not possible, and which is why I will probably not go anywhere.
I really miss going out on a limb and falling back on my own security though. I wonder when I stopped doing that so much. Oh yes, I remember when that happened, but that is nothing to share here.
I don't mean to say I'm insecure. I have confidence in myself, but I guess I sort of feel like I'm going crazy in my own skin. I feel like I'm holding back on life and I don't quite know how to fix that.
I feel like I boarded a flight and when I got on it I knew what the destination was. Then suddenly someone hijacked my plane, but that person did it under the pretense of kindness and caring. Unfortunately the hijacker got scared mid-flight and realized the enormity of what was happening. Now I'm stuck on this flight, waiting for the pilot to take over again and I'm scared to death that we're going to crash. So many good intentions out the window and I'm left to clean up the wreckage.
I don't mean to discredit my friends and family. They are my everything and really the only thing keeping me here and keeping me from going crazy, but I'm not talking about them right now. I'm talking about the restless feeling inside. I'm talking about that voice that never lets you feel completely ok with what you have, because you want something better
I don't mean to complain without purpose or resolution. I know where I'm supposed to turn for the answers. I've been trying harder than ever to turn there, but sometimes it's difficult.
I am ground in reality and I know that the only thing a person can do is keep living and eventually things will get sorted out. That's what I'm doing now.
I hope this next paragraph doesn't sound insensitive or ungrateful because it's actually meant to be an act of kindness... This blog is just expression and I don't need any "extra" support than normal, so please don't worry or think I'm in need. It's actually a little overwhelming how many emails and texts I will get when I share something that's a little more beneath the surface, but I assure you that I'm fine. Take the caring and kindness you are tempted to extend to me in my "time of need" and don't let it be wasted, but give it to someone else. I think you'll be surprised how many people need it far more than me. :)

Gretta

2009-01-07T14:17:00.003-06:00

Though there are many times where I am glad that I don't own a gun because I would probably shoot her, I love my german shorthair pointer, Gretta.
Here is a great Gretta story. As I'm thinking about how to tell it, I can still see it happening over and over again in my minds eye and it makes me laugh.
On Saturday evening we had a yucky sleet-ice storm thing that left the snow all crusty and glazed over. If you've ever been to my house you know that I have a hill that runs from the front yard down along the side of my house and around to the lower level. This is where Gretta and I play frisbee and hang out. Gretta likes to chase the frisbee down the hill and has also decided that the bottom of the hill is a good place to go poop.
On this particular day, after our ice storm, Gretta had been sliding down the hill like crazy, chasing after her toy. After one run, she stopped about half way down the hill and decided it was time to "go". She turns around so that she is facing up the hill and proceeds to squat and start her business. She's not the brightest dog and so she didn't quite understand why she was starting to slide down the hill. She still had her frisbee in her mouth but was so startled by her motion that she dropped her fisbee and it landed on its edge and started rolling away. This concerned her because she needed her frisbee and so she started to turn to try and get the frisbee but then thought better of it. Then she tried again. It was such a huge dilemma for my poor little dog, and it all happened to take place while she was pooping.
Things ended up ok and she made it through with no poop on the paws or any permanent scars, but it was touch and go for a moment!
I had a good laugh all by myself in my front yard over that one. It's moments like those that remind me why I love her. :)

A Sobering Thought...

2008-12-31T09:59:00.002-06:00

I was just reading the headlines on startribune.com and within the first 5 stories are 3 involving people getting in trouble with the law over alcohol use. Charles Barkley was arrested on suspicion of drunk driving, Jon Daly was recently suspended by the PGA for his drunk antics outside of a Hooters, and a local no-name from Wisconsin who was "supposedly" a big advocate of sober cab, and who had even donated a vehicle to the safe rides program, was arrested for drunk driving earlier this month.
Now, I acknowledge that the media is notorious for over reporting stories that involve celebrities and so Charles and Jon are probably getting a little more time in the lime light than their crimes warrant, but I just found it a little disturbing at how many people of note are in the paper, all on the same day, for alcohol abuse related issues. Does anyone drink in moderation anymore?!
Today is New Years Eve. "Amature's Night" as some of my friends call it. I know there will be plenty of drinking tonight and I suppose I will probably be among those partaking. As I go out tonight (first to the Wild game and then over to hang out with my family) I will not only make sure I am safely under-intoxicated before getting behind the wheel (shouldn't be a problem, I'm not a big drinker anyway), but I will also be watching all the other crazy people on the road since apparently driving under the influence is a huge issue even when it's NOT a holiday.
On that note, I wish everyone a Happy New Year. Please be safe and responsible in whatever you choose to do tonight!!

A marathon Christmas

2008-12-29T11:01:00.004-06:00

This is sort of a random, eclectic assortment of blog points. First, I suppose I should give a marathon training update since I haven't done that in a long time.
I am still doing the marathon on Jan 18th. After all the complaining I did back in November about being sick and then having an injured foot, I came back and said that I was feeling better, but in all honesty my foot never really got better. I have 3 things going on with it that are causing me pain. I have a sore Achilles, a sprain, and a nerve issue up near my toes. None of these things in and of themselves has been debilitating, but when combined they have caused me quite a bit of pain while running. When you combine that with the cold and snowy weather, well, let's just say that all of it has derailed my training.
Before I got injured, I was on pace to run about a ten and a half minute mile for the race (a little over 4 1/2 hours). That was my average for up to about 16 miles. Now that I'm injured and not really training, I am shooting for 5 1/2 or 6 hours. Hell, in all honesty I am just hoping to finish. This has been a lesson to me that I should never again commit to a Winter marathon. I despise being cold, and if I didn't have to worry about the weather and ice, I probably could have forced myself to run more, even while in pain.
The reason I am still doing the marathon even though I won't be doing it well is because I didn't sign up to do it for bragging rights, I signed up for it to raise money for LLS, and because I'm able bodied and still able to do a marathon when so many others can not. So, enough about that. Thank you to everyone who donated. As of right now I am only $300 away from my minimum goal. One step across the finish line- one step closer to a cure!
I hope everyone had a great Christmas last week. It was lots of time with friends and family. Christmas Eve was spent with my "second family" the Cooks, Christmas day was with my family on my dad's side, and Saturday was celebrated with my other second family, the Carnahans. It's so fun to hang with all of my cousins kids. They are always so excited to show all their great gifts and play with them. I even taught Katie how to play a song on her new piano. :)
I have so much more to chat about, but I should probably get back to work now. Hope everyone has a happy and safe New Years!
Love,
M

My Christmas Letter (The eco-friendly version!)

2008-12-19T14:56:00.002-06:00

Merry Christmas!
So I had this great idea that I would put my Christmas letter online this year to save some trees. Then, after all my Christmas cards were signed, sealed and stamped, I realized that I forgot to tell people to come to my blog to read the letter. Since I have already written it, I guess I’ll post it anyway. Perhaps one or two people will stumble upon it…
I hope this Christmas letter finds you and your family well and having a great holiday season. I always struggle a little with what to write in these things. Being that it’s just me and my crazy dog, giving you the play-by-play of my life for the past year seems really uninteresting. But what else do you talk about in these things? I’ll just try to make it short and sweet.
I guess the first order of business is to tell you that I purchased my very first home back in July. It is a townhouse (twinhouse, actually), and I have really been enjoying the process of painting and decorating the house to make it feel more like a home.
My new residence is only 5 miles away from work and so Gretta has been very happy that I am able to come home for lunch to play some Frisbee with her.
In case you missed my new address on the return envelope, here it is again:
8830 Coppersmith Court
Inver Grove Heights, MN 55076
Aside from the house, my year has been filled with travel. I coached two cycling teams for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society’s Team in Training for which we traveled to Lake Tahoe in June and then to Hawaii in September. I also managed to make it out to Colorado twice this year, once for some skiing in January and then again for some hiking in August. Both times were to visit friends. For my birthday in June I headed to Milwaukee to celebrate with my cousins at Summerfest, and then most recently I flew to Philadelphia in November to watch my good friend Jenny run in her very first marathon. I had a great time cheering her on, and we had a great time seeing the historical sites too!
Speaking of marathons; this January will bring a new challenge for me as I head to Phoenix to run in my very first marathon. I’m doing it as a fundraiser for the LLS.
I will again coach the Tahoe cycling team in ’09 and am really looking forward to it.
Gretta continues to sleep excessively, whine as much as possible (she is a German Shorthair, after all!), and enjoy her twice daily walks on which she gets to play lots of Frisbee. She sends her love and some slobber. Below are some pictures from my travels over the past year. Merry Christmas! :)
Love,
Misty

I heart skiing

2008-12-10T13:51:00.002-06:00

I am not very profound. Sometimes I think I am. I mean, in my head I seem to have all these complex ideas and emotions, but I am not very good AT ALL at expressing these thoughts. I am a good empathizer to my friends -because lord knows I have much to empathize about, but I am a far better listener than advice giver.
I think you'll all agree; it's hard to figure out what God is trying to use you for sometimes. Lately I have been feeling like He is using me to be the bad example for all the wrong things a person SHOULDN'T do...
A few of you reading have heard my great confession and you know what I am talking about. I am so grateful that I have such amazing friends. This was my dark little secret for so long and it just about broke me. Each time I worked up the courage to "confess", I did it with the knowledge that I very well may lose a friend by saying what I had to say. But, each time I confessed myself I have actually grown closer to that friend. Another one of those crazy lessons I had to do in order to learn.
I'm so grateful that these select few can see that what happened was never, NEVER intended, but it came about so unexpectedly and powerfully, and I couldn't stop it. This has been a miserable, wonderful, blissful, painful, POWERFUL 9 months. I miss it so much but I'm so glad it's over and I am finally strong enough to close this chapter and move on.
At first I thought all of the lessons I have learned lately were lessons that were meant to break me, but really they have made me so much stronger. I am more sure of who I am now, -and who I am NOT, I have a great love in my heart for someone that will never go away, and I've been enlightened about so many things. Top 3 lessons: Love, forgiveness, and letting go. Thanks J. These are because of you, but they are so independent of you too. You'll probably never read this, but that's ok. You know everything you need to know. :)
So, as Kim says - "here's to gray area". May we never lose the powerful lessons we learn, and may we always be able to share those lessons with others as an act to grow closer, and help each other heal.
Now that this is all moving behind me (slowly, but surely it is all settling into it's proper place) I am back to that first idea about how I am not very profound. I always wish I could say something abstract and vague, yet powerful, that would leave people going, "wow, that was almost...poetic!" But alas, that is not me. I'm an open book and even in my attempts to explain my thoughts vaguely, I'm sure you all just read right through it and now know what I truly confessed. Oh well, judge me if you must.
Wow, this blog did not go where I intended for it to go, so I'll get back to my original point now: I was skiing on Sunday (I have a season pass to Welch Village), and I was suddenly struck with a great, warm feeling. I was standing at the bottom of the hill waiting for my friends to get back to the chair lift and I just thought to myself, "I have a great life". And I really do. Here I was, skiing with two great friends who would do anything for me, I'm privileged enough to be able to afford to do things like ski, play hockey, cycle, own a house, have a nice car. I really could ask for nothing in terms of possessions. But far beyond that, I have an amazing, blessed life, rich with a family that loves and supports me, friends that care about me regardless of my shortfalls and great inspiration all around me. I have a great job and my future looks so bright.
So, I look forward to the rest of my winter and hitting the slopes. I hope every time I am standing at the bottom of the hill I will take a moment to remember how great my life is -great: just the way it is...

The secret society of the snobbish runners

2008-10-25T18:58:00.004-05:00

I've always said I dislike running. I actually had to mentally prep myself for almost 4 months to get myself in the right frame of mind before I even started training for this marathon. While I was out riding this summer with my cycling team I conducted a little experiment. I told them, "find me a happy, friendly runner and then I'll consider becoming one!" We looked and looked on the trails, but no runners fit the mold. Oh sure, they may say hi in response to your call, but they aren't merrily skipping along the trail enjoying the day.
Now, cyclists on the other hand, we're so damn smiley that we are always getting bugs in our teeth and stuff. Not classy, but happy nonetheless! That's the kind of happy that I'm looking for in my running cohorts...

So, fast forward 6 months and here I am in the middle of my training for PF Changs Rock n' Roll marathon. I ran 14 miles today and I didn't even feel bad afterwards -granted I run at a snails pace, but I'm sure even snails could have a bad run... if they had legs I mean.

There is a lot of mental down time when you're running that far. Anyone who knows me knows that I need constant occupation of the mind or else I get in trouble. It's actually too bad I can't run with my laptop because I always seem to be in the mood to blog right in the middle of the run. There isn't much else to do on the trail but think, listen to music, and put one foot in front of the other. I always come up with weird thoughts, observations and blog ideas, but then of course I forget all of it by the time I am done and at home in front of my computer...

Not today however!!! I actually remember what the heck I was thinking about for part of the time! As I was running down the trail I thought back to my experiment about smiling. The reason it came into my head was because I realized that everyone I was passing on the trail was not only smiling at me, but waving and saying good morning!! I was totally caught off guard and almost affronted! What happened to my absolute concrete stereotype I had developed about runners?! The only thing missing was some confetti sprinkling down and a happy musical tune with dancers in the background -they were that damn happy!
Suddenly I realized what had happened... I had become ONE OF "THEM"! Yes, that's right, runner don't say hi to cyclists because cyclists aren't "them". I have finally been invited to join the secret society of the snobbish runners. I don't want to be happy about it, but it's nice to feel included. I'd even venture to say that I feel loved :).
All I know is that after my 14 mile run on Saturday I don't think there is any way to pretend any longer that I'm not a runner. I think it's official and I should just start embracing it.
Now that I'm a member of the SSSR, I have all these other things i have to figure out before I turn in my membership fee and become a card carrying member. First, I need to know if it's a conflict of interest to be in this group when I already belong to the SSSB (bikers). If so, I guess I will have to forgo membership and just be a running scab. I hope I don't get hazed and harassed by the "union" members of the club. Second, how much is the fee and what is the money used for? I'm also curious as to if I can sit on the board. I'll give you an update once I find out those answers...
I know I've been a little out of touch with the running updates and stuff. I've been so busy running that I haven't had time to write about it! Hockey has now started too so I'm happy about that, but it takes up my precious blogging time. Forgive me for my absence?
Here's my quick life update to try and catch up. Last weekend we had a "step down" week so we only (haha, only) ran 9 miles. It felt like I didn't even run! I played hockey that night and I felt like a million bucks. Suddenly our training has gone from 2 rest days a week to just one, so I actually ran Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday (with Jorna. very enjoyable company and good for changing it up!) Wednesday and then I cross trained (hockey) On Thursday. Friday I finally got to take a break and so I tried a new restaurant with some friends: POP in downtown St Paul. I recommend it. Saturday was the 14 miles then brunch and bloody mary's at the joint (well, screwdrivers for me actually), Sunday was family, pumpkin carving and again cross training (hockey) and now tonight I am taking my weekly rest day a little early because it's off to the Wild game with Becca!!! Woot woot!
I've discovered that being insanely, disgustingly overly busy is a great way to not only experience as much as possible and try to stay caught up with my many wonderful friends and family, but it's also a great way to run from my problems and pretend like I'm not having any! :)
So on that note. Have a fabulous day!!

Keyless entry, Hip-Flexors and nightmares

2008-10-15T11:08:00.001-05:00

So I have this cool little gadget on my front door for keyless entry. I still have a deadbolt, but instead of carrying a key, I can enter in a code and the door unlocks automatically. I thought it would be a good idea to have that to ensure that I never get locked out of my house. Plus since I will have a renter again eventually I thought that would be a good alternative to giving out a key.
So yesterday I came home at lunch and tried to enter in my code, but not only would it not accept it, it actually didn’t beep at all. It had gone completely dead. I came in through the garage instead and I figured I must just need to change the batteries, but after I changed them it still didn’t work. I’m a little confused about this but I guess I’ll take it apart and tinker with it and if that doesn’t work than I guess I’ll buy a new one.
It weirded me out just a little though. Being that I am a single girl who lives by herself, I, of course, started going through all the scenarios of why it was broken: Did someone try to break in? Did my former roommate stop by and try to mess with it to get in? Do the gadget-gods hate me and not want me to have this cool technology? I actually even had a bad dream about someone breaking into my house last night. That was not cool. I sort of feel a little wimpy that I got worried about it… Being a weenie is not my style!
So anyway, that random event and a 5 mile run were the only exciting things to happen to me yesterday. Really they were about the ONLY things that happened to me. My life has been pretty boring lately as I am trying to curb my spending and socializing a little. It’s time to reign it in and remember that I am now a poor little home owner.
As always, life isn’t going too terribly bad. I worked at a karate tournament on Friday and Saturday and then on Sunday I did a 12 mile run with the team. It actually wasn’t a very good run, but I did it and that’s all that matters. 12 miles is officially the furthest I have ever run so that was a pretty cool milestone. I think the reason I had a bad run was because I was so busy on Saturday that I didn’t get a chance to properly rest and hydrate. I didn’t leave the tournament (after-party) until about 12:30am and so I was a little bleary-eyed as I stumbled out of bed for the 8am run.
I’ve been having some problems with my hip lately and so that was a little uncomfortable during the run and then afterwards. I couldn’t tell if it was my hip-flexor or my groin muscle, but I went to the chiropractor yesterday and Mark is pretty sure it’s my flexor. My hip flexors have always been pretty loose because of karate, so it surprised me that they were so tight when I tried to stretch them out after my run last night. I guess I can’t assume that because I was once flexible I will always be that way. It’s far too early in my training to get injured so I hope I nipped this in the bud!
My 5 miler went surprisingly well last night too. It was chilly and so the cold air hurt my lungs (flippin’ asthma!), but after I warmed up it was manageable. I even ran a little faster than I usually do, which surprised me. I have a Garmin and it tracks my mileage pace etc. Well, I think I have been unintentionally skewing my data… Here’s how it’s happening. When I wear long sleeves, I some times jerk my arm out and back to adjust the sleeve because long sleeves are annoying. I didn’t realize it until last night, but when I do that, the Garmin actually thinks I’m running faster for a split second. When I look at the data I will have these little blips where it looks like I was running a 6 or 7 minute mile. An unusual discovery, but now I guess I know how to cheat if I really want to :)

So, who's going to chase you with a gun to get you to run 26 miles?

2008-10-06T15:35:00.003-05:00

I love my karate friends. I have two sets of "friends" -those who do endurance sports, and those who do karate. If you take karate, chances are that you hate running, biking, swimming or any other "moving" sport, so you would rather just stand there and beat the crap out of things. Why run away from bad guys when you could just stand there and pummel them, right?
I fell into the karate catagory for over 16 years, but then one day I discovered that I could travel quite far on a bike, and it wasn't that difficult. Thus I was introduced to the world of endurance sports.
The title of my blog today is courtesy of my karate friend Wendy. We did breakfast on Saturday morning and she almost made me shoot milk out of my nose when she asked me that. Wendy states that she and running are like oil and water. She hates it and you couldn't pay her enough to get her to run. I giggled again over her comment as I treked a lonesome 9 miles on Saturday afternoon all by myself. Unfortunately, no one was chasing me, and no one is paying me anything to take this journey (they are paying LLS, though). I seem to be shelling out lots of dough to run comfortably. On Friday evening I went to Dick's (I prefer to call it Richard's) sporting goods and I got a water bottle belt so I could provide my own fuel and water during my run. That stupid thing cost $45 dollars and I was grumbling about it all the way home. I figured for that price it had better do the run for me and let me sit on the couch.
It turned out to be a good investment though and I ran comfortably and hydrated-ly (that's totally a word, I promise) on Saturday.
I have been running the same route around my house and I'm afraid I'm going to get bored with it pretty soon. Technically it isn't the EXACT same route because I go a little further out-and-back each time, but close enough. I will have to force myself to start branching out in order to stave off boredom. Or worse yet, anticipation. There is nothing worse than dreading a certain part of a run because you know the "big hill" is coming. -And there are quite a few big hills on my route. Blech!
I returned from Hawaii on Tuesday afternoon. You can envy me if you want, but I promptly got a sinus infection the Sunday of our bike ride, and I've been miserable ever since. I guess that is my punishment for doing something good for a good cause ;). Guess that'll learn me!
Hawaii was nice but super hot. It was about 90 each day and pretty humid. Courtney and I tried running on Friday morning and we just about melted. And it was only 6:30am!! The event was hot, but I was unaffected. Some of my cyclists had to get packed down with ice or sagged forward in order to finish safely, but I'm happy to report that everyone arrived at the finish line safely and without major incident. So back at home now I have been trying to sleep and recover a little bit. No antibiotics for me, just rest and hopefully this will clear up in a few days.
Saturday evening I had my first Bingo experience - and also my first Bingo-ago-go experience. Yes, I played bingo with drag queens at the Hyatt on Saturday. It was a blast and it was a benefit for people living with HIV/AIDS. Party with the gays! I enjoyed hanging with some friends that I don't get to see too often, and also I enjoyed the exposure to something outside of my comfort zone and cultural norm.
Sunday I watched the TC marathon in the pouring rain. Originally I was going to run in the TC marathon as my TNT event, but since I got asked to coach the cycling team for Hawaii, I postponed my marathon to the Phoenix event in January. Best decision I ever made. As I got stuck in a downpour I had the dawning realization that instead of being under an umbrella, I would have been standing at the startline getting wet. Did I mention that it never rains in Phoenix?...

6.2 Woot Woot!!

2008-09-15T10:16:00.004-05:00

Marathon training has officially started. Currently, I am sitting at work eating a bowl of fruit and trying to figure out how I'm going to squeeze in a 3 mile run tonight. I know it's only 3 miles but I have a busy night tonight. First I have to speed home after work to take care of my dog, then I have to go to the LLS office for our Hawaii travel meeting (Hawaii!!!). Then after the meeting I have to race over to White Bear Lake and sneak into class before it ends so I can make up a couple of quizzes. I think I can get home and go for a run by about 10pm. Not ideal, but no big deal.
So we had our first group run on Saturday morning. I was up late on Friday trying to get ready for my housewarming party, so I didn't sleep the best. Oh, and I woke up with a charlie horse in my calf at 3am because I had been standing funny on a ladder that night trying to paint my bathroom. Needless to say I was a little crabby as I woke up at 6am to take care of my dog and head over to Calhoun. Then I got even CRABBIER as I got to Calhoun and realized that the parking lot was closed and I had to park on the street 1/2 a mile away from where we were meeting. I found it ironic that I had to run to the meeting site, and even more ironic that I was annoyed that I had to run over there. :)
I would just like to explain that my bad attitude did not have so much to do with the minimal sleep and the inconvenience of parking as it had to do with me not being a morning runner. Any little annoyance is always amplified when I know I have to run early! I hate running in the morning because I usually feel so tired and sluggish when I do. I would much prefer afternoon or evening runs. I always have tons more energy then.
Ok, group run: Before we run as a group, we meet and talk about training, then we stretch and have a mission moment. Mission moment is where people in the group talk about cancer and their ties to the "cause". It's always very motivating.
On this morning, Kris, one of the mentors, shared her story of why she joined TNT. About 11 years ago her father was diagnosed with Leukemia, and then about 6 months later her MOTHER was diagnosed with a different form of Leukemia. They both died within a short time of each other. So she joined TNT to honor the 10 year anniversary of their deaths. Wow, talk about amazing and inspiring.
Instantly every ounce of crabbiness left my body and I was ready to run. And I had a great run too. I had a nice slow, even pace and I ran 6.2 miles. As I got done with the run, I realized that I was barely even tired! It was like my body agreed with my head that we were not doing this run for me, so it wanted to make sure I had a good run. For as selfish and self-centered of a person I am, it always amazes me that I can find ten times the strength that I normally have when I use it to help others.
I am very grateful that I am so often reminded that life is far bigger than just "me". When I get wrapped up in my own life and my own problems I tend to lose perspective and everything spirals downward. But when I am distracted from my own life and reminded that I can use my abilities for good instead of evil, then everything falls back into place. It feels good to finally be "me" again now that things are getting back into perspective.

Subject change. I had a good weekend aside from my run too! I had my housewarming party on Saturday and I had about 60 friends and family stop in to see the place and say hi. I have great people in my life.
My new roommate, Cory, moved in this weekend and he is fitting right in to. He even hung out at the HW party. Everyone approves so I think I'll keep him :)
Then Sunday I had a team ride. I didn't ride (my knees have been hurting, and I need a break from biking), but I provided SAG support and a food stop for the long ride. Then I got to eat a yummy German buffet that evening and help at the Gastof's silent auction for TNT. I tried to win a signed Marion Gaborik jersey but I got outbid in the last 1/2 second!! But at least I head-butted someone during all the action so it wasn't a total loss :)
ok, I'm done rambling. I hope everyone is having a great week!!

summer is over, but it's still HOT!

2008-09-02T08:52:00.003-05:00

Ah. Labor day has passed and summer is officially over. Pools are closed, my imaginary kids are back in school. Winter, and subsequently hockey and skiing season, are right around the corner!!! I like summer, but I love fall and I love hockey so all is not lost with the changing of the seasons...
I hope everyone had a great labor day weekend. I know I did! It was a random assortment of relaxing, busy, crazy and laid back. Friday I got a brow wax and facial, then I promptly came home and ruined it by going for a run and sweating all of those good products off my face. I like to pretend that it's all just a day in the life of an athlete! (or a wannabe anyway...). This running thing has been going better than I thought it would. I still walk and stuff, but I don't mind the slog and I'm looking forward to running in the cooler weather.
Saturday I met my friend Ashley at Normandale Lake park and we did a little run there. Again, nice day, good company and ok run/walk. One foot in front of the other.
Normandale lake is a cute little area. If you've never been there, I recommend it for a little workout variety.
After my run I can home, cleaned up and met someone for a blind date-lunch thing. For those of you who know me, I am NOT a good dater. I'm too picky, too guarded and too busy to try to let new "random" people into my life. But for some reason (societal pressure, I think) I still try stupid things like blind dates and match.com. I never have any success, but perhaps it's a good distraction in my head so I don't worry quite so much about growing old alone and owning 50 cats as a replacement for companionship... although after I actually go on a date and realize that I'm just not into that sort of thing then I tend to worry about that even more!!!
I've been struggling with this dating stuff. So finally I just decided that I need to start exploring my options and "practicing" sharing some of my time with people who might have some potential. Yeah, I think I'm already done with that. Nice try though.
My date on Saturday wasn't too bad. He was a nice guy, pretty nice looking, and we had good conversation. But I am just not a trusting person by nature and so I automatically found myself doubting everything he said and not believing his stories because they were all just a little too fantastical. Know what I mean? Like, everything that has happened to him had a story that was out of the ordinary.
I just wasn't really excited by him. But I give myself an A for effort. I even went on a second "date" with him on Monday morning to the state fair. Perhaps he has some friend potential. I'll have to give myself some more time to decide.
oh well, I seem to work best by myself anyway, and that's just fine for now. I know someone will come along one day who can deal with me and all my "issues" and baggage. I'm ok to wait for that person as long as it takes. I know I am able to be "moved" so I know there will be another person that comes along some day that does that to me again.
Anyway... so on Sunday I hosted a bike ride and BBQ at my house and that was SUPER fun. there were 11 people for the ride and 12 for the BBQ and we had great weather. Most people did about 40 miles, then we can back and BS'd and ate lots of food. After everyone left I forced myself to do a little homework and then went to bed.
Monday was a family BBQ after the fair. A pretty good way to wrap up summer, don't you think?
Tonight I am biking with the Honolulu team, and then I think I will try to squeeze in a run, but it is supposed to storm so i'll have to see how that works. That's all for now. Thanks for reading the play-by-play of my weekend. :)

School is (not) cool

2008-08-25T11:38:00.007-05:00

Many of you probably recall that for the past 2 1/2 years I had been working my butt off to clean up my academic "issues" and rebuild my GPA because I wanted to be an actuary. I actually brought my GPA up from a 2.17 to a 3.62 at one point last year.
Well, after a not-so-great internship I sort of realized that I no longer wanted to pursue this career. It was a combination of the internship, my classes, and realzing that I would have to be in school for almost 2 more years to finish this degree. I took a step back, reevaluated my internship, my classes and my ever-growing student loans and realized that I was sick of all of it!

Now, I find myself at a loss again for what I want to "be when I grow up", but I'm not walking away from all that hard work without at least getting SOME bachelors degree. Even if it's a sucky degree from a sucky school.

I just have to close this chapter of my life before I walk away from it. So this summer I started classes at Metro State. I'll have my bachelors in Business Admin after this year, and then I can finally turn the page and move on!!! Moving on seems to be a common theme for me lately. Interesting that it all seems to happen at once. :)

Anyway, classes started on Saturday. I have a Saturday, Monday and an independent study class this semester. I managed to make it to class late on Saturday and leave after only an hour. I have a feeling that much of my semester will go this way. The prof seemed totally cool with it. I explained to him that I would have a conflict with getting here on some Saturdays (team in Training stuff) and he was totally accomodating to let me turn in my homework by email. Super cool. He seems to understand that most people at Metro are working adults and school is not their first priority. Enter my Ops Mgmt teacher. not only is attendance required for his class, but if you miss a class, he will assign you a PAPER which will be due the following week. Give. Me. A. Break.

Anyway, I would love to make school a priority, but I just don't care any more. Nothing that i am doing in school currently is very technical so it doesn't require a lot of my time. I have already taken all these classes in 10 different ways, and they are just a means to an end. After I get my B.A. I think I might continue down the math track and get my masters in Stats or something similar. Since I have had so much Calc, and I actually kind of enjoy it, I thought I'd try to do something with that. For now though, I am taking the shortest route to the exit sign. Business admin is dumb, but I practically have the degree already because of all my classes.

ok, enough of my rambling. I have to go do my homework :)

The Pine is Divine...

2008-08-15T13:56:00.003-05:00

Why on earth am I posing for a photo with a dead pine tree?! I know it seems odd, but I wanted to try to capture what exactly is happening in the Rocky Mountains. As I was driving on Monday, I noticed many dying pines on the way out to Steamboat. I’d say probably over half the pines were dead. I was trying to figure out why there were so many. Was it just the natural course of things? Was there a fungus? Was this a human-made issue?
Apparently there is an epidemic of something called a pine beetle, which boroughs into the tree and kills it. Starting in Colorado and going all the way up into Canada, all the pines are dying, and they’re dying at a very rapid rate. They attribute the onslaught of beetles to Global warming. With the consistently warmer temperatures and more moderate winters, the beetles are not freezing and therefore have multiplied out of control. In these pictures you can see all the red and grey trees mixed in with the green ones. They estimate that in 2-3 years every single pine tree will be dead. That is just unfathomable. The entire landscape of the mountains is changing right before our very eyes! This is not a call to action or anything as there is nothing that can be done at this point. I just found it interesting and very sad so I wanted to share it with you. Colorado will still be beautiful, but it will look very different in a few years.

A place to call home...

2008-08-08T12:34:00.007-05:00

Well, after 18 gallons of paint, 9 awesome friends, 5 large pizzas, more friends to help move stuff, lots of cleaning supplies, gallons of sweat, and lots of missed sleep, my house is liveable and now looks like home!! Enjoy these pictures and save September 13th on the calendar. We'll offically trash my place... oops, I mean warm the house that day with a housewarming party!!!

insert catchy title here...

2008-07-22T15:06:00.000-05:00

Wow, I don’t know how people can get on here and blog everyday. Either their thoughts and emotions come out easier and faster than mine do, or else these daily-bloggers have no life and plenty of spare time.
I suppose it’s all about priorities. I’m trying to make blogging a priority because I will start my marathon training and fundraising soon, but my priorities lately seem to consist of… well I’m not even sure what they consist of right now. My dog, I suppose, oh, my cycling team and also getting my house in order.
I can tell you what things are NOT my priorities as of late: Regular showering, maintaining my “summer toes” and fingernails, or in anyway looking cute and put together. Half my clothes are still packed and aside from trying to make sure I don’t smell too bad or have food on my face, I haven’t had time for much else in the way of presentation.
Last night I intended to give myself a pedicure, but all of a sudden it was 11:30 and I wasn’t even done with my shelf-hanging project yet! Needless to say my toes still look heinous.
Oh well.
So I read in the paper last week that Simon Delivers.com is shutting down. If you’re not familiar with the concept, they are an internet grocer here in Mpls and they delivered your groceries to your door. I worked for them delivering groceries for over 2 years. It was weird to hear that they were closing. I started getting nostalgic about the ‘good ole days’ when I used to stop and chat with all my customers, and party with all the other drivers. I worked with quite a few large personalities and it was always a good time. This service was a life-saver for busy families who had to juggle kids, work, and activities, and it was also a life-saver for the elderly and disabled. It makes me sad to think about them having to find another way to get groceries now. I know they’ll survive, but it’s still a bummer.
I guess the dip in the economy is hitting me a little closer to home all of the time. SD went out of business because of rising food and fuel costs. As a new home owner I’m always a little concerned about other areas of my life that might take a hit because of the economy. My job is pretty safe for now I think, but one should always have a contingency plan…
So speaking of the house, it is really coming together nicely and, dare I say it, almost done!! I have been working like a mad-woman to get things put away, decorated and organized and I’m finally starting to see results. I’ve really enjoyed being so consumed with this project, but I’m ready to start enjoying my house a little more. I haven’t even sat on my couches yet!
I’ve managed to have people over to visit quite a bit and my cousins came and stayed this past weekend, but it has always still looked like a work in progress. I think yesterday was the turning point to when it started looking like a home. I finally got my shelves hung up in the kitchen, my bikes are now hung up in the garage, the cardboard is starting to get cut up and thrown away, and pictures are on the walls. Even my dog is settling in by trying to make herself at home on my couches. I’m trying to train her to not sleep on them, but it’s not working. Stinkin' rotten dog!

movin' on up

2008-07-13T20:51:00.000-05:00

So blogging is a bit like a friend with whom you don’t keep in the best of touch: you may not see her for awhile and you might not contribute to the relationship as often as you should, but every time you come back to her, she is supportive and totally there for you. Thank you, blog, for being my friend even though I have not contributed to our “relationship” in about 8 months. Though you may want to seek some therapy for your codependency issues related to letting me walk all over you and take you for granted, your commitment is truly appreciated in my time of need… and I need to BLOG!!!!

Well now, with that out of the way I’m not even sure where to start… It’s Friday, I’m sitting at work and of course I have the weekend bug so I’m not nearly as productive as I should be. I’m sort of half working on a project for work and half doing the homework for a management class I’m taking this summer. The class is actually pretty interesting. My teacher is a cute, perky, funny lady who has great stories and examples to back up her lectures. It’s one of those classes where she tricks you into learning something because you are so interested in the material that you don’t realize you’re retaining it. But later you realize you remember every word. Wish I had more classes like that…
I bought a house last week. I closed on Wednesday July 2nd and now it is finally starting to look like a home. July 4th was the big moving day and that Saturday I held a painting “party” to which I suckered 10 people into helping me paint every room in my house!! There’s something about the word, “party”. You could be having a amputation “party” and people would show up and volunteer their limbs… as long as you give them pizza and beer! …probably lots of beer if you’re going to amputating things…
On moving day, my wonderful friend Lukas and I jumped in the U-haul and road-tripped to Minneapolis and Red Wing to pick up some furniture I purchased on craigslist. Lukas provided much needed company, muscle and driving skills as he was also kind enough to drive the truck. I’m not a fan of driving a vehicle in which I can transport my entire life’s possessions. Thanks buddy!
After the furniture adventure, Lukas had to take off and Pat and Julie stepped in for round two of the big move. These two not only gave up their day on the 4th of July to help me move all my crap to the new pad, but then they totally recognized a friend in need and stayed until 10pm to help me take off outlet covers, spackle and all the other crap that comes along with prepping a house to get painted.
Let me just sidebar for a moment: Normally I would be much better prepared for the “party” and I did have a timeline set out to get this stuff done, but I lost my entire day of housework on Thursday due to an unexpected death in the family. It’s hard to transition back and forth from elation at buying my new house, to reconciling the loss of a family member. Talk about polar-opposite emotions!
Ok, I’m back: To sum up the day, I woke up at 6 after going to bed at 1am, sweated profusely all day while moving heavy boxes and furniture, drove over 150 miles in an uncomfortable U-haul (air-ride suspension my ass!!!) and slept on the floor/couch of my new house for about 5 hours before waking up to continue sanding and prepping. My body hates me.
I’ll post some pics of the new pad and talk about the painting “party” soon!

My first blog... ok, I cheated it's actually my Christmas letter!

2007-12-11T20:39:00.000-06:00

Happy Holidays to all of my wonderful friends and family!

It is pretty presumptuous of me to think that anyone would want to read all about the goings-on in my life over the past year so I will keep this thing short and sweet!
Let me just start off by directing your attention to the enclosed Christmas card from me and my wonderful German Shorthair, Gretta. I know when you look at this picture you think, “Wow, Gretta is such a well behaved, camera friendly dog!” I agree with you. This semi-decent picture of the both of us only took 43 shots!! That is down from last years 104 shots and this year we only took pictures in one location as opposed to 3!!
Ok, on to the fun stuff; what have I been up to this past year? Well, aside from spending large amounts of time sleeping and eating potato chips on the couch I have had an amazingly fulfilling and productive year. Way back in January of 2007 I started this incredible journey to raise money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society’s TNT and train for a 100 mile bike ride around Lake Tahoe. I completed the ride on June 3rd and in the process I raised $4120 for the LLS! I truly have some amazing people in my life that they would have enough faith in me to donate that kind of money! Thanks to everyone who supported me!
Even though I am done with my ride, that chapter of my life is only just beginning! After the Tahoe ride I volunteered to become a Mentor for TNT and we just completed a 109 mile ride in Tucson on November 17th. Now this January I will again do the Tahoe ride, only this time I will be coaching the team of cyclists! What a journey this has all been!! This summer I will train for my very first (and only) Marathon! I will again raise money for the LLS so be prepared! Cancer research, not just blood cancers but all cancer, is really a cause that I support strongly and it unfortunately has hit close to home too many times. This past September my family said good bye to my Grandpa as he passed away from lung cancer. Love you Gramps!
Aside from that life has been busy but fun. It was my golden birthday on June 28th so I along with 6 friends went to Vegas and indulged for a long weekend. I did a road trip to Milwaukee to visit family and hit Summerfest this past July. I also did the Lifetime Triathlon and the Irongirl Duathlon this summer. School is still going well. I finished up at Normandale last spring and now I am attending the University of St Thomas where I am majoring in Actuarial Science. I will take my first Actuary exam this spring.
Well I guess this letter didn’t end up being very short, did it? I hope that the holiday season finds you and your family well and in good spirits. Amidst all the stress and busyness that the holidays bring please don’t forget to relax, enjoy the company of friends and family, and remember what this season is really about.

Love,
Misty
(the below pictures are from Vegas, Tahoe, and Tucson all this past year)